Merry Christmas Slide Show

Go to the link below to enjoy a slideshow highlighting our first five months! In no way does this show all the challenges along this adoption journey but it does highlight the joy we feel to have Shanti home this Christmas! 

Merry Christmas! It's been 5 months since Shanti came home!

Giving Thanks

Today was ordinary in many ways. We didn't do our big Thanksgiving feast because Daddy-o had to work so we are saving it for Saturday when my brother and his crew roll in. We had a slow morning. I made our shopping list for the Tday feast, we ate breakfast and watched the Macy's Day Parade.

In other ways though it was extraordinary...

 First of all our friends Jeff and Amanda were finally united with their children in India. They started the adoption process when we did two years ago. We have journeyed with these precious friends and seen how they have handled delays and hardships with grace and courage. We couldn't have asked for more than to wake up on Thanksgiving to see them with A and S. What a gift and answer to prayer.

Secondly, today we started decorating for Christmas. I know many families do this but this year was different. It was Shanti's first time to decorate a tree (or trees in our case, I'm one of those people, can't help myself!). She was so excited, bouncing all over the place. We decorated one for our playroom and a small one that will serve as our Jesse Tree (for now it is covered in our Thanksgiving crafts from school which we put on there yesterday). She was mostly excited though about Daddy getting home so we could decorate the main tree together. She had been chosen to put the star on top of the tree and she reminded me many times throughout the day. As they decorated the tree it was surreal. I looked at Todd with tears in my eyes, there she was after two Christmas' without her. There she was in the flesh holding an ornament I had touched a million times before. For the Grand Finale Todd put her on his shoulders (as he stood in a chair, don't tell our social worker) and she put the star on as best she could. It was precious! She later decided we needed to go w/the angel instead but it didn't take away from the moment in the least. It really just made it sweeter that she could choose and change her mind! It was a perfect day in many ways (which I will gladly accept since I haven't been well...stellar lately:) and we are beyond thankful that she is finally home.

I'm so behind on blogging so here's a quick update: Shanti is adjusting so well, as are Pryce and Knox! We have our days--trust me! I'm adjusting to the demands of three kids, three years apart. I won't lie it's one of the hardest things I've ever done, so hard, so repetitive, so sanctifying! I'm thankful for the support of dear friends, family, and our church. Overall though I'm loving it. I've always been a fan of controlled chaos. We've got the chaos part down baby, now we are working on the controlled part:)

Love to you all! I will try to be a better blogger:) Maybe...

Am I too much to handle?

Lately in my quiet time (when I get it done!) I've been studying Job (I didn't plan this it just happened!). As I wrapped up this quick study through the book the last devotional "God Can Handle You" hit home for me. In Job's grief and anguish his friends kept lecturing him and telling him it's because of this/that he's suffering so they kept preaching and preaching and lecturing.  They were totally freaked out and overwhelmed by all that was happening to Job. They failed to just hear him and sit beside him in his grief. They didn't take the time to truly hear and comfort they just lectured and ranted. First off, this is me! I want to fix everyone! I want to make it better and so I will rattle off advice and my perspective on a situation quicker than crap through a goose. God rebuked Job's friends at the end of the book for this type of behavior. God didn't despise Job's cryings, in fact He affirmed them, even when they were negative and angry. In the end, God told Job's friends they needed to repent and ask Job to pray for them!

This idea that "God Can Handle You" is hitting home even more lately. It turns out that God models for us a love that can handle our anger, handle our rage, handle our doubts, forgive our sin. As I sit here exhausted and reflect on our day I want so badly for our children to know they aren't too much for us (even though I won't lie, I'm feeling beat down at the moment!). S has thrown some intense fits since she got home. Overall she has done very well but when these intense fits come, it's no joke. Sometimes it's because we say no and other times the root is grief and loss. This isn't my first rodeo with fits; big sister gave us some major prep work in this area. I myself can remember throwing a fit or two. I can remember the overwhelming emotions in the moment but I wasn't 5, I will not disclose my age at this point let's just say, WAY TOO OLD (Mama is probably having flashbacks as she reads this. Mama I'm sorry!!). I'm always amazed when a family hasn't experienced a child throwing down so congrats if this is a new phenomenon. Anyway, as I watched S in minute 40 (yes you read that correctly!!)  thrashing around, screaming that she didn't love me, kicking (don't forget the spitting) I was praying and doing everything I could to show her that she's not too much (even though it kind of felt that way and I was overwhelmed with emotion). I tried not to let her see it and instead wanted her to see that I wasn't going anywhere no matter what. My prayer is that God will teach her that we love her even when...even when she says things to hurt us, even when she doubts, even when she's afraid. It's-so-hard. Thankfully these episodes aren't occurring daily anymore (we had a good couple of weeks where it was daily or numerous times a week) yet they are draining nonetheless.

I never leave her during these times but just try to keep her safe and not overreact. In some ways it's good for her to get all this junk out and I try to keep putting myself in her shoes. Again, I remember the emotions behind a fit and I came from a stable, loving home. After the gig is up and it's all over, we share hugs and love and I get the girl some water (because you can work up a thirst with that kind of screaming!!) we go back to the "scene of the crime" as Dr. Karyn Purvis puts it. We complete our do-over or "try again" and then we try to move forward.

The whole thing ended (40 min later in case you missed that) with her willingly in my lap. She sat quietly, tears streaming. All the composure I was able to keep during the 40  minutes found itself grieving along with her. I reminded her (all in broken English) what love really is. Love doesn't stop loving when she shouts at me. Love doesn't give her back when she kicks or says she doesn't love me. I am so thankful for these times of holding and tears and reconciliation after it's over.  BUT. It's hard for it to be "over" in my heart. It's hard to just shake that one off! But then I get the silent reminder about GOD'S GRACE!!!! How much does HE willingly allow me onto His lap after I have bucked and snorted for not just 40 minutes but nearly 40 years! It's so true, so applicable. I (as you know) don't have the perfection of God but I desperately need the Holy Spirit to continue to reveal these truths about myself so that I can love her well. I am so thankful when Todd walks in the door (can I get an amen ha). He takes times the time to sit, listen, encourage and affirm me. He jumps in and we partner through the rest of the day. I am so thankful for him!!

In so many ways we feel like she's been home forever but in reality it's been 8 weeks so it's still very new. Pray for her to trust and believe that we won't leave her and that she is safe. Pray we allow her to feel the intensity of these big emotions without taking it personally. Pray these times build in her the truth that we can be trusted and relied upon even when she's not grinning from ear to ear. I know it's hard to believe cutie pie can throw down in such a way:)

AGAIN, God is teaching us big truths about His character. I'm so relieved I'm not too much for Him. I want to rest in the truth that He can handle a serious rebel like me who wants her own way, wants the easy road, wants to be right, wants to control, wrestles with doubt and the list goes on...

Great milestones in the last month:
-She's in school just a few hours in the morning and loves it!
 -She's warming up to Daddy more. Last night Todd put her down while I slipped out for some girl time.
-All the kids are getting along better. School has helped give them all a break from each other. We've had such huge adjustments between Todd's new job, school starting and her homecoming!
-She went for some routine blood-work (standard for a kiddo just coming home) and was a CHAMP. She earned herself a giant chocolate cupcake from Gigi's and her bravery never ceases to amaze me.

XO,
Gwen

"I'm following you on Facebook, is it going as well as it seems?"

I can't believe Shanti has been with us nearly a month.  In some ways it seems like it's been forever in other ways it's very brand new. A friend told me she's been following us on Facebook. She asked if it's going as well as it seems? To which I replied, "Did you read my blog post about how Facebook will deceive you?" ha.
http://www.lewisfamilyfive.blogspot.com/2013/07/a-perfectly-facebook-life.html

Overall our day-to-day adjustment is going well. The volume of 3 kiddos has been different but honestly the challenge is the emotional energy expended each day not so much the extra volume.

Pryce has been very nurturing and a comfort to Shanti. She's been a huge help to me and I'm thankful for how God has prepared her. She told me after the first week that it's tiring work being a big sister. I told her honestly it's tiring work being a mommy too. That's why big sisters and mommy's need breaks! We talked about ways to give her some downtime. Close friends have been so kind in offering to let P come over for playdates or outings.  A few nights ago Pryce was hugging Shanti at bedtime and whispered to me, "Mom I just love her so much" and you can tell. The language barrier has probably been hardest for Pryce because she wants to launch into an American Girl doll extravaganza with S but she doesn't have the words yet to get lost in Pryce's AG, Little Pet Shop or Barbie world! With that said we are seeing Shanti pretend play some so I think it's on the horizon:)

Knox treats Shanti likes she's been around forever (in good and bad ways;). A friend asked him a few weeks ago, "How do you like having a new sister?" to which he paused and responded (looking very confused), "Shanti?!" She said he looked at her like she was out of her mind! In other words, it doesn't feel so new to him and we are thankful. He's laughing with her and commenting on how cute she is one minute and paranoid she's going to actually want one of his Trash Pack Guys or snatch his ridiculous amount of Superheroes. Kind of typical 4 year old meets sibling drama. Knoxism: the other night Shanti moved from our room into her bed in Pryce's room (at her request, yay) and Knox asked, "So can I start sweeping in there now?" to which I replied, "No". He said, "If I was an orphan could I sweep in there?" Buddy you served your time in there! Remember when you would wake me up every 2-3 hours to eat and kept doing that for 8 weeks:) Yep you've served your time! He keeps us laughing and also makes us crazy. All things considered, he's a great bro!

The emotional part is hardest right now. Hour to hour we are kicking along fine but S has been grieving the loss of her friends and past life. She gets sad, frustrated and scared at times. These last few days have been better and a few nights ago was the first time we haven't experienced tears at bedtime. When tears come we encourage them, hold her, remind her with the same message over and over again which basically consists of: we love you, we are sorry, it's OK to cry, we will never leave you, you are safe.  You have to imagine yourself losing a whole room full of friends (or sisters and brothers as they refer to one another in her orphanage) all at once and then being placed in a completely foreign situation. Not to mention the past hurt that's been accumulating over the years. Even the concept of Mom and Dad is foreign, at least the true role of a parent. So not only is she experiencing grief and loss, she's also trying to make sense of this new world around her. These times of holding and reinforcing aren't the same as those we experience with our biological children. First of all, we can dialogue with the bio's about their needs (usually they are quick to tell us) but she's still learning English and still learning us! Of course we have moments when we hold Pryce and Knox and remind them of all sorts of things but the trust is already established. We can quickly redirect them without a lot of explanation. An adopted child has no reason to trust. It's not a quick correction but a time consuming process that is no doubt worth it but exhausting. Hearing no is difficult because she doesn't understand that "no" doesn't change the way we feel about her. So after correction and resolve there is more holding and reminding that we still love, value and will never leave her. I can't suddenly fix this or make her believe us, only time can build a wall of trust, brick by brick. A few days ago I was holding her while she cried not knowing what she needed or honestly why she was even crying. It was such a huge reminder to me that our Heavenly Father is the ultimate comfort. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4 We can attempt to comfort her because we have been comforted. Through Christ we are in a relationship with God, the Father of Mercy. I want so much for Shanti to truly connect with us, how much more does He want to be connected with us in a relationship where He can Father, comfort  and guide us?  He is not deterred, overwhelmed or fearful of this parenting gig, we are His and greatly beloved.

So the answer to that question: "Is it going as well as it seems on FB?" You know, yeah, it's great but don't let the Facebook snapshots fool you it's also painful, exhausting, scary, hard and worth it.

Many of you have asked about her English. She understands more than she speaks but will make you think she's tracking with you as she gazes back with the grin:) Her growth in just one month is astounding especially with comprehension.

A few milestones to share:
-She's been sleeping in our room in a small toddler bed. I highly recommend this to families if possible during those first few weeks. I told her she could move into her bed in Pryce's room when she was ready. She initiated the move and it's going well! Pryce's room has officially become "their" room:)
-She really wants to be in the mix with Pryce and Knox! They are starting school this week and she will also be "starting" one day per week. I will accompany her to preschool one day per week for a few hours. The other four days we will work together here at home and enjoy our time together. I don't expect her to be clinging to me, she loves to be around others, especially kids. I'm keeping her home for attachment reasons more than anything else. We aren't in any rush. The school has been amazing as they work with us to find the right fit for her. We are so thankful for our school staff.
-She is becoming more expressive and testing more! We expected that to come around this time. She's 5 after all and we prefer not to raise robots around here. While the testing is at times surprising yet expected we try to balance the structure with nurture (Dr. Karyn Purvis, I love you!:)
-She LOVES swimming. We are so thankful for our friends who've allowed us to pool hop!! The child has no fear when it comes to the water (which terrifies us, we are working on it!). She recently went tubing at the river!

That's all for now. Celebrating almost a month...
G

Just pics

A picture is a worth a thousand words...

First week as a Family of Five

Well today marks our first week at home! Overall I have no complaints! Shanti is adjusting very well. She's sleeping well at night. She occasionally wakes up tearful but goes back to sleep quickly with some reassurance. In many ways, Pryce and Knox treat her likes she's been around forever. They are really patient with her (and me)! They enjoy doing puzzles together. It allows them to work on a common goal but doesn't require a common language. So thankful for this discovery!!! They had a fun evening playing in the rain a few nights ago which ended with us literally bathing them outside and sending them back into the rain for a rinse:). We've done some painting together, they love bubbles and today we are going to give the pool another try. Shanti likes to color and craft and she enjoys doing educational workbooks which gives her my undivided attention as she works on letter writing. She knows all her sounds and letters (for the most part) and can count to 100 and backwards from 20. Not bad for a five year old by any standard! Todd's mom came to visit which was a blessing and we've had meal after meal from our church family and other friends. Glorious!

Shanti attended her first American style bday party this week! Pryce was excited to introduce her to all her friends. They were so kind to her! At first she was overwhelmed (or either carsick not sure!) but then she leapt into action and fell right in with the kids and other guests. It's fun to watch her experience so many firsts. Turns out MANY of the people at the party have been praying for her and they watched with joy as she experienced Sweet Frog and her first party! Other firsts include: her first haircut (Chelsea came to us, so sweet) and first trip to the library to name a few!

We've been taking pictures in places and with people we see frequently: church, stores, school etc. Someone gave me the idea to post these pictures on a school calendar so Shanti knows where we are going each day. I thought this was brilliant and I'm getting close to completing the project! I'm also working on another project where I'm placing the faces of the family, along with friends who have been adopted from her orphanage, on the state where they live. Grandma came to visit this week and she's unclear about why she suddenly vanished! She knows what a map is and after explaining it she understands better that we are in GA and BG is in MS. I'm not going to underestimate her ability to get it so we are going to give this a try and see how it goes!

Todd started his first week of work in the civilian world. It's been going really well. We've all missed him so much after having him home between jobs. Shanti is slowly warming up to him. Last night they did a puzzle and he read her books. It's sweet seeing her slowly warm up to him. On the way home from India Todd said something I thought was really profound about this adoption journey. He said something like, "I'm understanding God's unconditional love more now. I love her unconditionally yet she doesn't realize it or trust me yet." It was a statement I will always remember and he was so right. God loves us with an unfailing, unconditional love yet we stand skeptical when we are actually beloved. Beautiful.

So that's our first week in the bag. In many way I know we are still honeymooning. The hard thing is we are at home a lot which isn't really my style! Shanti of course wants a lot of my attention as do Pryce and Knox. I've probably heard mom a zillion times, no y'all, a zillion! I'm working to find joy in this opportunity rather than inconvenience. It hit me this week that I can chose to view this season in one of those two ways. The fact that God would trust me, ME, with these three blows my mind and leaves me humbled at the task.

Love to you all!
G and T

Pics

For our non-facebook friends! Finally pics:)

Journey Home and Day One

We had to be at the airport at 10pm Friday night. Yet again kudos to our hotel. We used their car service to the airport and they had a chap waiting for us at the curb. He helped us with the luggage and check in. Yet again I was glad to have a local helping out! We were a little intimated by the process of clearing customs so we got there with plenty of time to spare. The Indian customs agent was extremely thorough. He looked through all our papers then went away and came back with another agent. Immediately when the next agent walked up he congratulated us. The first agent wanted to be sure we knew the meaning of her name:) They both seemed genuinely happy for us! They cleared us and the whole process took about 10 minutes. We were thankful for the way they checked and double checked the paperwork. We breathed a sigh of relief as we got to our gate but when the plane took off from New Delhi Todd and I looked at each other with enormous smiles and tears of JOY! It was finally done!!!!

Shanti did great considering the travel time is a total of about 24 hours. We rode the moving sidewalks in the airports, ate snacks, watched movies, painted fingernails, you name it. The first flight she did well but as we were taxing into Frankfurt she gave me "the look" and I knew she was going to hurl and she did. But like our car experiences, she was good as new right when we got off the plane. The second flight to Atlanta was a different story. She got sick no less than five times (had to call for more barf bags). We gave her some dramamine and she slept the first part and the last but if she was awake she was sick. She was such a trooper though. She never argued or complained just did what she had to do and went back to watching the TV! I was so thankful that she stayed asleep as we taxied into the Atlanta airport. Note: bring plenty of ziploc bags when you travel to receive your adopted child. Especially if they have been in an orphanage. Most of them have never been in a vehicle so motion sickness is common!

When we got off you could tell she still wasn't feeling well and was extremely groggy. As we waited at US Customs (for a while) I could see her eyes looking at people in shades of color she's likely never seen. It hit me that not only was she terrified in general she was also seeing more adults than she'd ever seen in her life in more shades then she probably knew existed. They never really went out of the orphanage and if they did they were seeing mostly Indians. I asked her "Darr?" she nodded yes, she was scared. You never know what they hear about America. I held her as we made our way through customs, again everything went smooth. Again the customs agents congratulated us, this time because Shanti had just become a U.S. Citizen!!!

We grabbed the luggage and made our way out of the international baggage area and I spotted Pryce right away! The kids were there along with Jill (sis-in-law) and my nieces and nephews. It was an unforgettable moment! Seeing Pryce with her was so special. She couldn't get over how small Shanti was and Shanti was grinning from ear to ear! Knox wasted no time hugging her and saying hello. In that moment it felt like they had all been together for years. We snapped some pics and Pryce gave Shanti the necklace she bought her. Pryce put it on her and Shanti was so happy. Pryce had also bought me a new necklace, a sweet owl. During the moment Knox asked Todd, "When am I getting a brodher?" ha!  Pryce kept asking Shanti, "Can you say this/that?" and Shanti just smiled! Pryce said, "I can't believe I have a sister! I can't believe she's here." Knox was trying to talk to Shanti in spanish:) Later Pryce told us it was one of the happiest days of her life. Ours too!

Pryce and Knox talked and talked to her the whole way home. She would smile and nod and sometime rattle something off in hindi. She only got sick once on the ride home and she was drinking Gatoade and eating popcorn by the time we rolled into the driveway.We turned in the neighborhood and a small group of our friends were aiting to greet us. We hopped out of the car and Shanti smiled and waved and said hello in her sweet accent. The kids were also excited to see everyone. Everyone stayed in the driveway for about 10 minutes then they were off. We walked into the house filled with decorations, signs and food all placed there by incredible friends. The kids were all bouncing off the walls with excitement. Shanti was running around and you could see the amazement as she went around every corner. Pryce and Knox were so excited to show her everything and she was excited to show them. It was the most excited we've seen her to date!

The first night she did well. We have a small toddler bed in our room (thanks to my sweet friend Jennie C who brought it over and set it up for me!). She went to bed and woke around 2am tearful. She slept the remainder of the night with us. Saturday the girls kicked Daddy out of the bed and enjoyed a sleep over. Then last night she slept from 6:30pm-5:15am in her little bed beside our own. I woke up to her sitting up in her little bed staring at me, ha! I get that feeling a lot. I think someone is watching me and sure enough, it's Shanti!

Things are going well here. It's interesting to watch a child who has spent most of their life in an orphanage. The first several days she's displayed what the experts call a post-instutional sensory overload response (I think that's how they say it)! We are fortunate to have experienced friends and one of my best friends Kristin, is a OT specializing in sensory issues, not to mention a mommy to adopted children. If things get too overwhelming Shanti will literally shut down. She will stare, slowly blink, become unresponsive,  it's startling if you don't know to expect it. We overloaded her big time on Saturday and she had one of these episodes. Kristin (and other mom's) assure me it's a classic sensory overload response. Now that I know the signs,  I try to remove her to a quiet calm place and hold her and engage her with one toy. It's not neccessary to tip toe around her but let's just say we won't be going to Chuckee Cheese this week! We clearly understand the point of the cocooning. I believe Shanti genuinely enjoys being around people, she's extremely friendly and kind. We just have to slowly introduce new things. Like today rather than having her watch the kids on the trampoline and stand on it herself (yeah I know, what was I thinking right?!) we went outside and threw the ball for 5 minutes, held a pine cone and came inside! Way more tolerable!

It's hard to imagine that she literally lived out of approximately 3 rooms and went outside to the same spot daily: a small patch of grass the size of the patio. I saw almost no toys and their teachers come to the orphanage for classes,  so even school takes place inside those walls. It's fascinating to watch her on uneven ground (like in our sloped backyard) trying to get her footing. If you give her a container of blocks she begins to sort them but if you give her 10 blocks she will build with them. She will set the dollhouse up perfectly but then thinks it's time to put it all away, the concept of pretending with the dolls is completely foreign. The same is true of food. She does much better with the rice and beans all mixed together in one bowl rather than 5 options together on a plate. All of these things are temporary and already within in a few days time I'm seeing growth (plus Todd and I are being more aware). The wonderful thing is she finds joy in such simple things: she giggles when you throw her a ball, she drags Pryce by the hand to show her a toy. She's extremely smart. She knows all her letters, numbers, and can remember words in English very quickly-impressive!

Pryce and Knox are doing well overall. Pryce is extremely nurturing and Knox genuinely enjoys her. I think the first day was a little overwhelming to them. They are working to understand how at age 5 she's experiencing so many firsts. Knox wants to be sure she doesn't mess up his toys while Pryce has been liberal with her things, more so than I expected. All things considered, they are both adjusting well. They (P and K) just left for a playdate and were reassuring Shanti they would be back. I'm not sure she understood because as she went down for her nap she was tearful. It's hard to know what's behind those tears but each time I hold her and lay beside her praying God will heal her wounds and meet her in those moments.

We are beyond thankful for the love and support. Words will never fully express our thanks to our family, friends and church family. We are receiving meals, Pryce and Knox are enjoying playdates, you name it! Todd's mom came in for a few days since Todd started his new job today. It's been nice to have her here to help out as we recover from the trip and adjust.  I'm so thankful our community here. Instead of waiting to be asked everyone is going above and beyond as we settle in as a family of 5! THANK YOU!

Love to all!
G

First Steps

Gotcha day is one of the most exciting days. It's emotional and overwhelming and glorious. Gotcha day was so exciting in fact that once we all laid down to go to sleep my eyes were wide open! I think I slept all of an hour Monday night. I was so wound up, my bedmates were snoring (both of them) and the jet lag set in. So Todd woke up at 2am (like most mornings) and we hung out, had our coffee, attempted to go back to sleep and gave up:)

Tuesday we headed out for our Visa appt. In India it's generally cheaper to book a car for a few hours rather than pay for the here and there. The driver arrived on time and before we knew it we were pulling up to the Embassy (with an empty barf bag I might add, yay). The driver pulled over (aka as stopped in the middle of a lane-in a traffic circle-in New Delhi, in his defense there was no where else to do so). We were trying to make arrangements for pick up with our driver. We hurriedly did so and paid for this later. The policeman/guard quickly came over and was letting the driver have it, so we leapt out of the car and didn't look back. 

Walking up to the Embassy we immediately saw a long line of Indian people waiting to get through the security check. We knew as U.S. citizens we didn't have to wait in the lines. We walked right up to the guard and said "American Citizen" this flows freely from your mouth at every check point when you are at an Embassy (it's a Lee Greenwood- Proud to be an American-moment no doubt). The guard checked our passports and wasn't happy to see that Shanti brought along her Dora backpack. The Embassy doesn't allow phones, bags etc to be brought inside. We went back and forth until he compromised and agreed to hold it for her, ha. I was honestly glad to see his diligence on security. Shanti fished out the little toy ponies her sister gave her and the toy duck from Tarana. We made our way through security and past TONS of waiting people until we found ourself at the point where you do the paperwork. We were told to be seated and wait but again knew as citizens we had priority as would an Indian national at their consulate in the U.S. Daddy took charge and fairly quickly we were standing at a window sliding all the paperwork under the glass separating us from the kind worker. The whole thing took about 15 minutes or less. Shanti was SO patient just fiddling with her toys or wanting me to hold her. We were directed to the cashier. It appears that despite a sign hanging above our heads saying they accept dollars, Rupee, Visa or Mastercard (also on the website) they said cash only. We had plenty of Rupee or so we thought. We also had a combo of dollars and rupee. The guy told us what we needed to pay: 44,000 Rupee (or so we heard). We still haven't got the conversion down and were anxious to get it done (normally we would plug it into our conversion app for iphone but no phone in the embassy). We had over 20K rupee but wasn't enough. Todd right away said we need to speak to someone above you as it clearly states here you take cards and yet he was refusing to do so. A respectable looking guy showed up within a few minutes. At first he was going to make us come back but then changed his mind and said he would do the Visa interview and then come back and pay. We went back to the other window where we clarified the amount needed so we could collect that after the interview. The clerk said yes it's 14,000 something Rupee. Huh?!  "I write it down for you" remember there's a sheet of glass and he has a hefty accent. It was not Rp 44,000 it was Rp 14! GOT IT! We all realized the mistake and despite our spiritied exchanges only moments before all was well. We paid the Rupee, did the interview which lasted about 5 minutes (again looking through the glass) and he said we will call your hotel if it's ready today or you can pick up tomorrow. Minus the Rupee/Payment misunderstanding it was an easy process just as we had been told by the families who went before us. Make a note: just because paperwork and a sign say they take Mastercard or Visa, bring cash only and save yourself the hassle, just saying:)

When our driver dumped us out we were fairly sure we told him to come back in about 30 min and he described that he would be driving past to keep an eye out for us. Again no iphone. We waited over 30 minutes then decided forget it...we are hailing a rickshaw! Now for some of you this sounds like no big deal but I will ask: 1. Do you know the make-up of a rickshaw 2. Have you ridden a rickshaw with your child in Delhi at peak traffic times? ha! We hopped in the rickshaw and for the next 10 minutes we wheeled in and out of traffic circles, wind in our faces, horns blowing and Shanti grinning and soaking it in. She loved the rickshaw and so did I. We may catch another cruise this morning before the traffic picks up. I didn't have my camera and think she needs her picture in one for sure.

We came back to our hotel, Todd called the driver and went back out for a few things from the pharmacy and before we new it the front desk was calling saying the Embassy called and the Visa was ready! Todd went and got it and was back in no time! DONE! DONE! DONE! YAY. We were so thankful. Our official girl was napping beside me. Sweet. 

When Shanti woke up she was quiet but not in a way we had witnessed so far (this wasn't a shyness). She had a look of concern and fear. I put her in my lap and held her while Todd laid beside us. We realized she was holding back tears. We said Thika cry Shanti (OK to cry Shanti). We pointed in her little picture dictionary and asked if she was sad or scared and I was proud to see her gently and honestly nod yes. Her eyes spilled over with tears and at this point we were crying quietly with her. I held her and she leaned into me while Todd laid near. He translated some things to her. We reminded her we will never leave her and that she is safe. She looked in our eyes filled with tears and we repeated, "thika to cry Shanti". All the grief and loss she must be experiencing. All the grief and loss she has already experienced. The more unanswered questions. It was so painful to see her wounds and see her hurting. Our hearts hurt so deeply for her. Instead of trying to make her laugh or move past it we have been taught that allowing an adopted child to experience all stages of grief and loss is critical for healing. We've also been taught to grieve with them. I probably would have failed to do this instinctively and I'm so thankful for the other adoptive parents, social workers and scholars who talk about the real stuff concerning adoption. We expect this will be the first of many of those moments. We stayed like that for a while. Todd stepped out and I continued to hold her. She had her arms wrapped around my neck and I could feel her sweet fingers moving across my back. She would occasionally wipe a tear but willing rested in my arms. I asked her if she wanted to go eat with Mama and in a few minutes she was bustling around getting ready. Just like that the moment was gone but it will forever be in our hearts. All the stages won't be this tender or restful. Pray for her and us as we journey this with her. 

We made our way downstairs. Remember I haven't slept in 24 hours. Upon entering the restaurants all Shanti's peeps greeted her with high fives and sweet smiles. Our favorite manager and waiter immediately started talking to her in Hindi. They speak English well and willingly translate for us. He asked me were we there for lunch or dinner. I said, "What time is it?" ha! It was 2:30pm. We decided on a snack and the manager rattled off options. She said, "Cake!" So you better believe she got cake. Of course they brought her two and she gobbled down the strawberry. We still haven't figured out her drink preference. She likes water but requests milk then doesn't drink it. They say she's asking for cold milk with a little sugar. Something about it doesn't suit her though. We did crafts in the hotel lobby and talked to one of the hotel employees who was intrigued by it all. Later in the day I have to say she was much more talkative and interactive. I think it helped to let go of some of those emotions. I'm trying to convince her to let me record her reciting, "One Little Apple Hanging in a Tree" ADORABLE with her accent! She apparently knows a lot of poems. It was good to see her being playful and comfortable. She told me about her friends at WHC and who had been adopted. We looked back through her pictures and videos from our tour of the orphanage and watched Pryce and Knox's video where they toured our house and showed her all around. She loved it.

Before dinner, she and Todd did some crafts together. She will let Todd hold her etc but still is a bit unsure (although she flashed a genuine toothy grin when Todd kissed her on the forehead earlier:)The hesitance with a new daddy is apparently not uncommon as most children from orphanages rarely interact with men so we expected it. We ordered room service for dinner. We got her Dal makhni which is black lentils with tomato and cream, basmati rice and Indian potato bread called Bharwan Kulcha. She loved it! It's the best we've seen her eat so far and we loved it too. This I think I can make in Amedrika:)

We were in bed by 6:30pm and I slept until almost midnight. Todd woke up about 1am and here we are, as usual, wide awake:) 

Pryce and Knox are having a blast with the cousins in Tenn. Jill said they lit up when they saw the pics and video of Shanti and they are very excited!

A few things about Shanti:

-She smiles A LOT! 

-She's a little shy.

-She's very friendly.

-She's meticulous. I've seen her dump out a package of markers so she could organize them appropriately. Todd has picked up on this too and you can imagine he loves it, ha.

-She loves chocolate

-She loves crafts and can draw really well.

-She can say her ABC's and many English words but we are still trying to figure out how much she understands.

-She writes her S backwards:)

-She can sleep through anything (orphanage life). We have the light on, we are talking, whatever. She falls asleep quickly and sleeps well.

-She likes to dress up and put bows, clips or barrettes in her hair.

-Shes' teeny! She has wiggle room in 3T dresses!

We roll out of here Thursday night! We can't wait to get home to Pryce and Knox and get the show on the road. Pray for continued health here as we are all recovering from colds (we are suspecting Shanti's sickness had something to do with upper respiratory). Pray for the flights home and that all is on time and goes well. 

Much Love.

G and T

Together at Last!

THE DAY-FINALLY! OK this is very detailed for my friends/family who want every detail. Here's the short version (aka as the Todd Lewis): Great Day. She's awesome. We have custody. Visa Tomorrow. Pick up Visa Wednesday. Fly home Thursday. The end. If you want the long one here you go. I don't want to forget a detail so this is for me and my detail obsessed family and friends:)

We woke up at 4:45am wide awake and ready to meet Shaunti. Of course we had to wait until 11am...LONG WAIT. We left for the orphanage about 10:45am and Delhi traffic is INSANE people. I mean: hold your breath half the ride insane. A ZILLION people everywhere insane. At any moment you are going to cream someone insane. As we wound through roads and streets our driver had to stop 3 times to ask where the orphanage was located but he was efficient and we were thankful he wasn't too proud to ask! Finally at the end of a dirt stretch on the road there it stood, Shaunti's home for the last three years. It's by far the worst area we have seen to date. Basically a trash pile beside the orphanage filled with cows and dogs all searching for food. It was slightly overwhelming to know our dear girl has been living there 3 years and extremely humbling.

We were greeted at the gate (thank goodness there's a gate) by an elderly man who asked for our name. He seemed frail and tired but nonetheless I was thankful for his kindness and diligence. We made our way inside and were greeted by a lady at the desk. Right away she took us in to meet Mrs. K the director. We did the usual greetings but Mrs. K wasted no time and told us right away that "Shaunti has been feeling a bit low" and that it seems all the kids come down with sickness the week their parents come! She informed us that Shaunti had been given antibiotics and glucose intravenously and would have the IV still in her hand. Of course the moment she walked out we started anazlying! We weren't concerned about TB because the test was negative just last week. It was alarming and unexpected. Mrs. K said she is fine now and this all apparently happened over the weekend. When she learned that Todd is a doctor she said we can wait for the doctor to arrive at 2pm to speak with her directly. Thank goodness. We wasted no time in asking for custody of Shaunti today. We were shocked when without any discussion she said that would be fine if the doctor approved, which she felt confident she would. That's it?! That easy? We weren't expecting that at all. GOD'S GRACE-YOUR PRAYERS! No other explanation. She came in and out of her office several times until the door came open and trailing behind Mrs. K was our sweet girl, grinning from ear to ear! Right away she came over to me. She was smiling and saying Mama and Papa. It was crazy and all happened in an instant! There's no way to explain that moment except to compare it to the two other moments I've had when Pryce and Knox were born. Todd was snapping pictures and grinning. I was crying. Shaunti-smiling:)

We spent time in the office finalzing all the papers and then Mrs. K offered to take us on a tour. We saw the baby area where we met one of our friends 3 daughters waiting be adopted (Kristian--sister is adorable-grinning from ear to ear!). All of the babies were so smily!!!! They were eating and the caregivers were bustling all around them. Even the wee ones in the crib were smiling. Todd and one baby locked eyes and he instantly had tears  (not the baby, Todd:). Nothing like seeing that man cry out of a heart of compassion. For a moment I thought we might end up bringing home two! Finally we made our way upstairs and met Shaunti's adorable teacher and all her friends! We gave them tootsie rolls, carmel candies and all the girls got some new hair accessories. They all looked exactly like the pictures we had seen of this little crew. They were all there and accounted for just like the pictures have spoken over the past few months. All of them except the ones now adopted by our friends! YES! In many ways I felt I knew this little crew. Shaunti was proud to pass everything around but honestly she seemed eager to get the show on the road, ha. The workers and a few select children watched videos of Tarana (the Crutchfield family lives in our town and their daughter and Shaunti are friends). Right away upon seeing the video each caregiver and Mrs. K had the same reaction: they couldn't believe how different she looked. They all gazed at the video with such joy and commented on the difference the nurturing of a parent can make in a child's life. It was touching to see their reactions.

After the tour we went back to the directors office and she finished giving us our papers and had to leave for an appointment. We clarified that we could indeed take custody and she again said yes. Just like that she was gone. We spent the next few minutes painting Shaunti's finger nails and toenails. Loves purple. Tarana told us that her favorite color is purple, she was right! The doctor arrived before 2pm. She was a spirited woman who sat and talked for some time. She said there was no good explanation for the fever such as disease etc. Of course our minds want to wonder about what could have caused the fever but we will have to investigate all of that in US. Thankfully she doesn't seem to have symptoms except possibly some congestion (she's snoring and her nose appears to be a little raw from being runny maybe) and we aren't overly concerned at this point. . Please pray for her continued recovery and health. It's slightly worrisome to have no answers concerning why but after asking numerous people, all separately, no one had any good reason other than fever. So, in comes the unanswered questions with adoption. It's just one of a many questions we won't be able to answer about the days prior to this one. It's just another area in which we have to trust God and rely on Him to reveal whatever is necessary to care for her the best way possible. Pray we get out of here with no more sickness and pray for continued healing! On to the car ride...

We came prepared for the car ride--we brought barf bags. To date almost all the children have gotten car sick upon that first ride with their parents so I had gallon Ziplocs ready to go from the moment we rolled away. Within about 10 minutes she got quiet, not very responsive, not even the ipad was doing it...I've seen that look before. I told her if she was to be sick to do so in the bag (me demonstrating barfing in a bag) and she is a great student! She indeed barfed in the bag! Right on target. Our driver was very kind and understanding. She focused on a point until we got back to the hotel. Within about 5 minutes she was smiling again. Car sickness forgotten. Immediately the employees at our amazing hotel were greeting her. She was wide-eyed. This place even makes our American jaws drop. Our  guide/travel agent got it for us at a wonderful rate and we have been spoiled here! We aren't doing the typical Delhi experience, we know that, but we are thankful for these accommodations under the circumstances. Right away we brought her in and introduced her to the beautiful huge tub. We sprayed the water, let her put in some bubbles. No she did not hop right in. As a matter of fact she was ready to put up a fight but I firmly communicated that the bath was happening:) We had some business to take care of. I hauled her into the bath (after letting her observe and giving her some time to explore) and within 5 seconds she was loving it! Ha! She went to town with the bar of soap and I had to go to town on that beautiful very thick black hair. Let's just say we had to do some hair care and I'm not referring to a hot oil treatment! Mothers who have done this absolutely know what I'm referring to. I put on my bathing suit and we worked half the time in the bath, the other half watching Pocohantus while eating cookies. Again another reality of adoption. A child in an orphanage deals with things on a daily basis that we only occasionally deal with. We get ticked when we have to wait for our A/C man to show up but they live with little to no A/C at all. She's never been in a bath tub! That's the easy stuff that's been a void in her life.  Dare we bring up all the unanswered questions. It's too much to take in, hard to comprehend. It will be a lifetime of processing for her and our family but God's peace can be overwhelming amidst the mysteries. He can heal wounds and bring into existence healing and hope that we can't dare fathom. His peace can be incomprehensible in her life among the unanswered questions. I've prayed it would be so many times before.

So on to dinner. She kept doing the sign for eat. Her English is decent. She can rattle off the ABC's and 123's no hesitation! She can say many words but not sure how much she understands. We are working with lots of body language signs and Todd even drew an airplane today to be sure she understood we are going to American on an airplane. Amedrica as she says:)

The servers at the hotel restaurant were instantly smitten with her. All young men and many looking at her with hearts filled with compassion and joy for her life to come! It was a moving sight. I didn't expect such a reaction. Our server in particular really catered to her. He translated and spoke to her in Hindi about what she would like to eat. He went right to work getting her order back to the kitchen. She was cold (again not use to A/C) and the manager ordered up a shawl for her. Ha! Princess! Our server said he's waited on many Americans who had come to adopt. He spoke about it with pride and happiness. It was a special first dinner. By the time we walked back to the room from dinner she was shaking hands with the doorman and saying "tank you" when they opened the door for us. They all looked at her with wonder. I will never forget their faces.

After dinner we attempted the pool but she just smiled and wasn't quite ready. Honestly she missed her nap and was getting tired. She did a Stevie Wonder pounding on the MacBook (banged on it like a piano) about 10 minutes before bedtime and that was the moment I realized that she was ready for bed:)

So far we've figured out that she really likes bread, rice and cookies:) If she's offered something she doesn't prefer whether food or clothing (like the first time with bath or changing into another outfit, typical 5 year old stuff:), she will sort of give a whiny sing song and crinkle her nose. Testing....ha. Todd and I are gently correcting her and making her do it properly with a no thank you. It's amazing how you just start being mama and daddy right away! We've heard about typical behaviors among kids in orphanages so this little bit of testing came as no surprise. Right now I would describe her as joyful, slightly shy, clearly has an opinion! She reminds me a lot of her sister:) Before bed we made the quick video then laid her in the middle of her bed. I explained as best I could that we would sleep on each side of her. I told her it's time to sleep. She held her doll, closed her eyes, occasionally opening them to check things out and was breathing heavily within 2 minutes! She snores and grinds her teeth a bit:) She hasn't moved since 8:30.

That's it for now. Your prayers mean the world to us! Please pray for the Visa appt to go well and again for health! I'm on the tail end of a cold and again for Shaunti to be completely well from whatever "made her low". We will blog again soon!

Love,
G and T

Made it and Day 1

I'm thankful to inform you that this entry is being written from inside our Delhi hotel! Yay! I will try to be more detailed on the blog and I'm putting quick snippets on facebook! Take your pick.

We made it here about 2:30am Sunday morning Delhi time. Our flights went smoothly with no delays, thank you for praying! For my Germany people I loved connecting there! It brought back a flood of memories from our years living there:) I saw a tshirt that said I "heart" Germany that I plan to pick up on the way back through! Right away we saw workers in bright shades of teal green and airport employees zooming around on bicycles. Loved it. We boarded on time and the flight was 7 hours into Delhi (9 from Atlanta to Germany). I was like a caged animal that last hour before touching down in Delhi! Of course Todd was sawing logs and I was wide eyed just staring at that tiny airplane (on the screen in front of you tracking the trip) as it flies over country after country! Obviously I realized we were flying to the literal other side of the world but then to sit on an airplane long enough to do so is another story entirely:)

Customs wasn't as scary or chaotic as I had envisioned. The custom agent was kind and they were moving folks through very efficiently. Our agency doesn't have the man power to set up your trip (details like hotels and cars) but we are so thankful for our amazing guide Abhi and friends who have gone before us or live here in other areas currently. Abhi arranged for hotel pick up and there was a kind gentlemen waiting as we came out of baggage claim. He got a kick out of the fact that I brought an empty suitcase. Shopping? Isn't that obvious! You allot me two free bags and despite the fact that I filled both of mine of course Todd did not:) In my defense and entire suitcase was filled with American candy and treats for the orphanage workers, children and street children. I also packed lots of crafts to do with Shaunti or leave at the orphanage.  Calculate the number of anti-bacterial wipes, bug spray etc. I won't be bringing any of that back so good news for family and friends...plenty of space for goodies!

From the customs agent to the hotel staff everyone has been extremely friendly. Since we arrive early morning hours we were able to go right to sleep and didn't wake until 11am. I consider that a full nights sleep! We had an American lunch in our room and we are now waiting for Abhi to arrive so we can do some sight-seeing.

The weather feels a lot like southeast MS or Columbus, GA, ha! HUMID and HOT. Muggy is a good word. I can't wait to get out there and get a feel for the real India. I'm overwhelmed by it all. I can't believe we will be with Shaunti this time tomorrow. As we made our decent into Delhi the reality of it all hit me. We are HERE! It's a glorious day indeed. We are so thankful for your prayers. Please pray for safety and health (we both have colds, nothing major, just annoying). Mainly pray for our time tomorrow with Shaunti. We will be with her this time tomorrow! TOMORROW! Pray for her heart to be prepared along with our own. We are so confident in God's timing and know we will need His endurance to press on. 

I read this verse the morning we were getting ready to leave. While I don't claim to be using this verse perfectly in context I will ask our scholarly friends to excuse the application but it hit my heart in an unexpected way: Ephesians 4: ²⁸ Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need." Now in the context of this verse I think it's referring to literal stealing of goods or property and literally making a paycheck. As it applies to my own life I'm applying this in a spiritual and emotional sense. I have been taking in and being poured into from many angles. Y'all have prayed for us, educated us, cried with us, and on and on. I've been focused very much on myself and surviving emotionally until we could get here (ask Todd:)! This verse challenges and reminds me to take all that has been stored up along this journey and turn it outward to Shaunti along with others we may encounter this week. Remember that the gospel is not to be held tightly but to be a light in darkness, it's a guide, it's hope. The gospel motivates us to give and serve because He first loved us and paid the ultimate ransom. Praying that knowledge goes before me this week. 

A little about Day 1...
Today we enjoyed seeing Delhi mostly by car and going to the market. The amount of people is overwhelming just as they say. Our guide said the population is about 10 times that of NYC! We managed to stay up all day and even got to face-time with the kids. Now we are off to bed to prepare for the big day!! Can't wait for you to wake up to pictures of Shaunti. Soon people!!!!

Love and Thanks!

G and T

A Perfectly Facebook Life

I originally wrote and posted this back on June 15 then removed it because I'm not sure why. Anyway after today's sermon it's back up!


Todd and I have been cautious fans of blogging. They can unintentionally (or intentionally) paint an unrealistic picture of someone's life. I see Facebook much the same. I'm a guilty participant so I'm writing this to clean my slate and speak up about this before we get Shaunti home and the crap really hits the fan! We will go from gazing at that sweet face to living with her in the flesh! I will have a 7, 5 and 4 year old. Need I say more?

I love FB. After being in the military for 11 years we have friends scattered across the globe! I have a love-hate relationship with it though. Those who know me hear me rant then I post a picture! Total hypocrite. I despise it one second, can't stop scrolling and posting the next! People annoy me then make me laugh! It triggers my multiple personalities.

Recently our pastor (who is on FB) reminded us that we are only seeing one side of the story on Facebook. We see perfectly manicured smiles, cheerful kids and projects or trips galore. Where are: the meltdowns? The hair that hasn't been washed in two days? The family that's driving each other bonkers? The credit card statement? The pain or suffering? Occasionally you will have that brutally honest person or the person who decides to go passive/aggressive on someone and leaves us all confused and curious--don't do this, call your sister/brother/aunt/uncle/mama whatever-don't blast them on FB!  On the flip side, we can humbly share our prayer needs on FB knowing someone is going to see it instantly and pray. Let's be honest though, it's rare that we put a shout out saying: I'm struggling with sin. HELP!  If you're the exception to the rule, OK I get it, but overall let's say it's rare.

I've been thinking of this in light of my FB account! This week alone I posted pics of my daughter hosting a fundraiser that she envisioned. Her heart was so genuine in this pursuit and she worked diligently. We are so so proud of her! I wanted y'all to see! She's an amazing compassionate child and we are beyond humbled to be her parents as we watch God work in her life. Of course it's rare that I share her faults. I fail to mention how I spoke harshly to her tonight after she talked back to me. As it concerns the adoption, I haven't posted a status update in a psalmist-like tone: God why are you silent!??!

Hear this! I'm not calling for reform. I don't think Facebook needs to be a place of confession and intensity, it's suppose to be fun after all. I'm not asking you spill your guts, really. I guess the point I'm making is to beware of seeing a coin from one side only (good or bad).

I'm not saying the smiles you see on FB aren't genuine. I'm genuinely proud of my daughter! I'm genuinely excited about adoption. I'm genuinely thankful for my hubby. I'm genuinely happy and pumped about life! Especially a life where every situation and moment has the potential to point me toward the gospel. A life the reminds me that Christ humbled himself and paid the price for my sin and failure so I might be in a right relationship with God. I don't doubt that your smiles are genuine as well. I'm just saying: the pictures you see on Facebook aren't it, that's not all. Y'all I'm struggling like the rest of us. There are days I'm not thriving but surviving up-in-here (those who know me know it)! I think of folks like our pastor or church family, those trusted friends and family who live among us. Wow, they still choose to come around?! Humbling:)

As we approach Shaunti's homecoming I think of the impression you will get from our one-sided Facebook world and will do my best to be candid here on the blog about our prayer needs and obstacles. The smiles will be OH SO GENUINE but please don't forget we will be adjusting big time.

In closing, see the moments on FB as good and joyful but remember that behind each of us there are needs, unfinished projects, things we are sorting out, sin we are battling, hopes and dreams we are dreaming, disappointments we are mourning, teeth that need brushing, floors that need mopping...you get the point.

So consider this my Facebook caveat as we move into this new phase of our adoption--hopefully a homecoming very soon! YES! This week we heard that the police clearance is done and this tends to be the longest part in the passport process. We should hear something any day now. Please keep praying for negative TB tests!

Thanks!

Counting the Days

It's been about 30 days since Shaunti's paperwork was resubmitted to the passport office. Recently it's been taking about 45 days for the passport to be issued. If you see me diving into my purse it's because my iphone is telling me I have a new email! I'm back to constantly checking every time I hear the chime!

We do have some new information and prayer requests:

Our friends recently brought their two daughters home from Shaunti's orphanage. This family, the Hart's, got to spend time with Shaunti while in country and even hand delivered a photo book we made her! It was so encouraging to see another set of our friends interacting with her.

The Hart's had a roller-coaster experience in India and after arriving home one of their daughters tested positive for TB. While she doesn't have active symptoms like coughing, she does have a positive chest X-ray for TB. She's on the proper medications and doing very well. While we miss them here in GA, God knew what he was doing when he moved them to a border town months ago. They're in a town where TB is seen regularly and the infectious disease doctors are extremely knowledgable. They have educated all of us in the process. We panic when we hear TB in the states but it's sadly common in places like India.  I've learned so much in the past few weeks! Research shows (and the infectious disease doctor stressed) that a child rarely spreads TB to other children and it's almost always passed from an actively coughing adult to a child. TB isn't passed through touches or even toothbrushes but it's inhaled when an active carrier coughs and someone else inhales.  It's a relief to know that it's unlikely that the children are spreading it to one another yet concerning because there could be a TB positive adult in their midst.  Thankfully none of the other children recently adopted have tested positive. They've all been retested and we are thankful for negative test results!

Here's where the prayer requests come in: Please pray that Shaunti is well and does not have TB. If she has a positive chest X-ray, she will not be allowed into the U.S. until she's been treated for several months. Obviously additional delays would be devastating not to mention a lack of oversight  concerning her treatment.

Also, please continue to pray for the passport. The orphanage director is being very proactive and going to the passport office daily for updates. Each day they tell her to come back tomorrow. Again we aren't at the 45 day mark yet but pray we don't hit that point! This week our agency asked if we would like to have the orphanage director take Shaunti for her Immigration medical exam and TB test immediately after the passport is issued? Typically you travel and do the medical exam during the week in country then once you have the exam you can go get a Visa. We agreed to let the orphanage director take care of getting her to the medical exam prior to our arrival. Thankfully,  this will be one less thing to do when we get there nd it will confirm the TB status. If the medical exam isn't taken care of promptly after the passport is issued (we are assured it will be) we will go and take care of it ourselves as originally planned.

We will keep you all updated. Until then I've included a few pics of my dear friend Aimee Hart flipping through the photo book with Shaunti. Aimee said she knew our faces and I'm so thankful she can now pull this book out anytime she wants!

Moving on from Go-getter to Passport Personnel

Hooray!!!! Apparently the clerical error has been corrected and S's paperwork has been resubmitted to the passport office! Thanks for praying for Go-getter! Now will you shift your focus to the PP (Passport Personnel)?! I'm praying for that person with her file. I'm praying he/she will feel a sense of urgency and even joy as they assist us in this final stage before we travel.

A word about the Bios!
I want to say how thankful I am for Pryce and Knox. They have been so patient during this waiting. Todd and I have seen them maturing in neat ways lately (right along with Mom and Dad:). They are excited about Shaunti and thoughtful as it concerns her. They anticipate her arrival by discussing things we will do this summer and talk about her like she's already home!

Most recently the two of them have shown mama a lot of patience and forgiveness in this waiting process. Very thankful this mother's day!

Our Pryce is almost done with first grade and Knox is finishing up 3 year preschool. They've both had a great year with precious teachers and friends. Next year all the kiddos will be together at the same school and I can't wait to whiz up to one door:)

That's all for now! Thankful for my little trio!

Yeah, you guessed it, still waiting...

Still waiting...

Todd and I want to express our thanks for the prayers and support! Yes, we are still waiting! I've been too mad and brat-like to blog lately. I'm sorry to those who love criticquing my grammar, I'm sure you've been in withdrawals. I'm also sorry this is so long. I need to do this more than once a month!

On April 16th we finally got an update concerning Shaunti's paperwork. Sadly, we didn't receive word to travel, instead we got this:
"The adoption deed was written wrong by the court and rejected by the passport office.  The attorney has filed for a new deed and they are waiting on that to be completed.  Once this is in hand, they will continue with the passport." 

The adoption is final but the decree (2-3 pages!!) has to be corrected and resubmitted to the passport office. We hope the passport office will pick up where they left off rather than stick us at the back of the line. While I'm an optimist, we have to be realistic and expect that we could wait another 2 months from April 16 (I'm guessing this based on the typical wait time for a passport).

About a week before the delay I said to Todd, "I don't want to be so consumed by the unknowns that I miss an opportunity for us to grow in the midst of the waiting." Yeah well, opportunity granted!  Let me set the stage concerning news about the delay: Tears, TICKED-OFF, would have thrown myself in the floor but knew my kids would mimic this irrational behavior and take their own thrashing about to a new level. Todd finally said: "Babe, I'll put the kids down, why don't you go have some time alone!" Get the picture?

Todd and I just cringe at the thought of the paperwork sitting in a stack somewhere: RIGHT THERE!!! on someone's desk! Pray for "that person" with the file on their desk or "that person" who is diligently working to correct this! Pray there's a Go-getter in the mix somewhere!

Dear Go-Getter:
It's me, the one across the ocean. I'm the one pulling my hair out and walking in circles around the house. I'm the one buying countless amounts of power bars, miniature packs of toilet paper and travel supplies in preparation for a trip to your amazing sub-continent!! I know you probably have mounds of paperwork but if you see the stack with the adorable little girl grinning from ear to ear...she's ours, that's the one! Would you kindly issue her the necessary paperwork? We really want her swimming in pools, picking blueberries, eating ice cream and participating in the Lewis-living-room dance parties very soon! We know you're the one to make it happen!

Kindest Regards,
Extremely Impatient (but trying to make the best of it)

Let's be honest here, Go-getter didn't get the memo but somehow I feel better:) I've always heard you should write a letter about how you are feeling then destroy it. Hmm. Not only have I caught myself wearing my shirt inside out, now I'm writing letters to Go-getter? Does anyone see a pattern of craziness here?

OK so here comes that part where I talk about hope and Jesus and stuff. Forget Go-getter and let's talk about the One who actually hears.

Waiting...it's so painful. It's so annoying. It's clearly driving me crazy! It makes me cuss!! (sorry Mama)
BUT. However! Let me finish....

As I consider the waiting and choose to occasionally suck in the pouty lip, I'm able to recognize the refinement that is being ushered in with this wait. Refinement The word itself honestly just sounds painful! Refinement is a process and the Refiner is intentional in his quest to purify not to destroy.

As a believer my hope is found in the promises of God's Word and the finished work of Jesus Christ. I have hope that while I was still a sinner Jesus Christ died. See at just the right time, when I was unable (powerless) Christ died for me, the ungodly (Romans 5) to bring me into a relationship with a perfect righteous God. In His mercy, He didn't require me to get myself together and THEN come to Him. I will confess, I haven't always seen it that way.  I recall repeatedly telling myself : "Next time I will do better" or  "I will get it together, stop "that" sin then I'll be in a better condition when I go to God". Well I never got ready, I just kept screwing it up. Yet in His mercy, while I was powerless, He met me in the midst of my sin, in the deepest depths of it. Finally I understood that He was the only one getting it right when I kept getting it so wrong. Since all have fallen short of God's glory, then I need someone to reconcile me back into a relationship with God, that someone is Christ. He reconciled me to God once and for all because my goodness couldn't and will never be good enough.

Part of this redemptive work is growing in Christ-likeness or being refined (some call it sanctification). This process of refinement is never said to be easy but purposeful. Consider 1 Peter 1:6-7 We can rejoice (as a believer) because we know that this grief, suffering, or trial is proving in us a genuine faith that will ultimately glorify God. James 1:2-4 says that trial create perseverance. Hebrews 12:5-10 God reminds me that He disciplines us because He loves us and for our good, not our destruction.

I've always loved running. Anytime I've set out to run faster, longer or harder I've reached a point when I'm sure one of the following will occur: a) I will die b) quit c) nearly die; however, if I expect to run faster I have to be pushed by a faster runner (y'all know who you are). If I want to run longer I need to know there's a finish line. I have to hope in the finish line! Refinement feels similarly. While at times I think I can't stand it any more I'm reminded that this isn't to destroy me and there's a finish line ahead. There's a point of completion when Shaunti will be home and there's an eternal completion for those who are in Christ.

I have to say: it's nasty! I was shocked at some of the mess that has risen to the surface (just the fact that I was shocked should say something about my pride!). This waiting has shown me sin that was covered over by the cuties: cute smile, cute outfits, cute orphans. Under it all was some nasty stuff: pride, doubt, arrogance, jealousy (and I'll stop while I'm ahead). Before I came into a relationship with Christ the nasty stuff took different forms (which most of you could attest to and I'm still apologizing to folks 20 years later)! So my life before Christ, and my sin thereafter, make it clear to me that relying on my righteousnes will continually fail me so I choose to rely on His promises, His truth, His goodness.

So while I want our girl home NOW. I have to stop hoping in the Go-getter (although should you read this I think you are awesome!)  the passport office or the final call! My hope is in the Lord. I'm expectant. I'm tired but expectant that He will finish this work to bring Shaunti home. I believe He's using this situation to make this sinner more like her Redeemer. The Refiner has plans for a finished work.

Maybe you are tired of waiting or suffering? Maybe you think all my Jesus talk is really getting on your nerves. Where are you placing your hope? Hope in Christ. Look away from yourself and look to Him. Remind me to continually do the same.

Keep the prayers coming friends. I know God will bring her home in His timing. "Lord I believe, help my unbelief!"

Gwen

Have you not known?

Last weekend: emotionally exhausting. Weary, tense, annoyed. 
This weekend: renewed, hopeful, expectant. 

Welcome to the roller-coaster we call adoption. I totally love roller-coasters but I'm screaming one minute, dying laughing the next and typically hanging on for dear life.

Yesterday we celebrated Pryce's 7th Birthday. She woke up all smiles. She said, "I've been waiting for this day my whole life!" :) We celebrated with a small party at school, had some girl time with one of her sweet friends, got their nails done and went back to her school for the Renaissance festival dressed in princess attire! She was so thankful. I love this girl. She's full of compassion and sincerity. An Absolute joy.

Today the goodness continued...
Two weeks ago our friends came home with their daughter T who is Shaunti's friend from the orphanage. T and Shaunti are settling in the same town along with two other children already here and formerly form the same orphanage! If that doesn't make your jaw drop then maybe I'm just overly excitable. Anyway, today we show up at the Bradley Park Chickfila for a playdate to meet T for the first time. We walked in the door feeling anxious and excited. Shortly after getting there T comes around the corner smiling. It was surreal to finally meet her. All those months of looking at her picture (sometimes with her head poking up in pictures behind Shaunti). All those months of dreaming with her mama and there she stood! This time she wasn't in a picture but at Chickfila! She was coming in and out of the play area like any other kiddo! All the kids did crafts and sat together coloring. Several times T came over to me. I got to hold her hand in mine and explain I was Shaunti's mommy and introduce her to Pryce and Knox. She seemed to understand and responded with a smile. She interacted with Pryce and Knox. She repeated their names and giggled when she was trying to pronounce Knox which sounded like knock. Of course we loved it! It was glorious.

Again tonight I got to spend more time with T and her Mom to celebrate a friends Birthday (this friend Jennie has the two other children from the same orphanage. So that would be 3 kiddos under the same roof tonight from the same orphanage (awesomeness). We painted a peacock feather on a canvas. T sat across from me and throughout the night we would share a glance and a word. She would look me in the eye and smile. Again I told her I was Shaunti's mommy. She would say, "Santi" (drop the Shhh sound and that's how she pronounces it). We communicated as best we could even without words. She is precious and appears to understand a lot. I asked, "Is Shaunti happy?" and she would respond, "Yes" and smile. I asked her if Shaunti was big or small and she stuck her little hand out to show me that Shaunti is much shorter than she is (her mom says about the size of Knox). The whole day was beyond what I can comprehend. 

So many moments I could envision Shaunti in the mix of them. I could imagine her running in and out of the play area, sitting around a table crafting or giggling with Pryce, T and the other girls. 

Last weekend after feeling drained and weary God reminded me of this verse. It's been above my sink for months then mama sent it to me in a card. All week I've been meditating on it:

Isaiah 40: 28-31

²⁸ "Have you not known? Have you not heard?The Lord is the everlasting God,    the Creator of the ends of the earth.He does not faint or grow weary;    his understanding is unsearchable.²⁹ He gives power to the faint,    and to him who has no might He increases strength.³⁰  Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;³¹ but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

He knows that I am weary of this journey and exhausted, His understanding is unsearchable. In my weakness He doesn't condemn me, He meets me. Last week I was waiting to get on a plane to India. Another week came and went and it didn't happen.  This week I was again waiting but in a different way. I was waiting for the Lord to renew my strength, me the one who had no might, who felt weary and exhausted. I was expectant, relying on Him who is able when I am not.

Rather than hoping in this process I can lean into His understanding. Rather than longing for a phone call I can long for His renewal and continue to run, walk and pursue Him in the midst of this process. How many ways can I apply this today and for the rest of my life! There's unbelievable peace found in His promises. 

Throughout this journey Ephesians 3:16-21 has been an encouragement and prayer:

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

This weekend He did just that. He strengthened me and reminded me that I'm established in Him, not in this process. He allowed me to see His love that is incomprehensible. A love that forgives and redeems a sinner like myself. A love that sets the lonely into families across the world. It's too much for me to grasp, it surpasses my ability to understand. Even though this wasn't "the week" He has been faithful to do more then I imagined. I want to be expectant. I want to expect His strength to sustain me, to renew me and bring her home in His perfect timing.

If you talk to me on a regular basis, remind me of this tomorrow...